Paraprosdokian Phrases Revisited

From the mystical land of my email comes another installment of paraprosdokian phrases.  I tried my best to find who said what for those historians out there.  Enjoy!

To see the original list, click here!

  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. – Jon Hammond
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. – Brian O’Driscoll
  • Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. – attributed to both Mark Twain and Albert Einstein
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. – to read the history of this quote, click here.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it’s still on the list.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. – Alan Dundes
  • War does not determine who is right – only who is left. – Bertrand Russell
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. – William Faulkner
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. – Doyle Brunson
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  • Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. – Ashleigh Brilliant
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. – Robert C. Gallagher
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Have a great weekend everyone!

For my first round of paraprosdokian one liners, click here.


About Jodi

Jodi L. Milner is a writer, mandala enthusiast, and educator. Her epic fantasy novel, Stonebearer’s Betrayal, will be published November 2018 by Immortal Works Press. She has been published in several anthologies. When not writing, she can be found folding children and feeding the laundry, occasionally in that order.
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10 Responses to Paraprosdokian Phrases Revisited

  1. Michael Knudsen says:

    parapa-what? Oh well, they are brilliant quotes nonetheless. Especially the one about skydiving.

  2. Cindy says:

    Paraprosdokian … what a tongue-twister. Loved all the quotes 🙂

  3. Awesome post.
    I like the ‘change’ one bestest.

  4. nrhatch says:

    My favorite:

    I would agree with you . . . but then we’d both be wrong. 🙂

  5. Absolutely love these, especially ‘the voices in my head’ one.

  6. oldancestor says:

    That’s great stuff.

  7. cubbageg says:

    Oh, say, I have that magnet. You might throw a link up to your first post of these, for the confused first-timers!

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