Posted by: Jodi | December 3, 2010

Paraprosdokian Phrases Revisited

From the mystical land of my email comes another installment of paraprosdokian phrases.  I tried my best to find who said what for those historians out there.  Enjoy!

To see the original list, click here!

  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. – Jon Hammond
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. – Brian O’Driscoll
  • Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. – attributed to both Mark Twain and Albert Einstein
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. – to read the history of this quote, click here.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it’s still on the list.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. – Alan Dundes
  • War does not determine who is right – only who is left. – Bertrand Russell
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. – William Faulkner
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. – Doyle Brunson
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  • Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. – Ashleigh Brilliant
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. – Robert C. Gallagher
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Have a great weekend everyone!

For my first round of paraprosdokian one liners, click here.

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Responses

  1. parapa-what? Oh well, they are brilliant quotes nonetheless. Especially the one about skydiving.

    • That’s got to be one of my personal favorites as well.

  2. Paraprosdokian … what a tongue-twister. Loved all the quotes 🙂

  3. Awesome post.
    I like the ‘change’ one bestest.

  4. My favorite:

    I would agree with you . . . but then we’d both be wrong. 🙂

    • That was on my list but got cut when I couldn’t find a good source – glad you shared it!

  5. Absolutely love these, especially ‘the voices in my head’ one.

  6. That’s great stuff.

  7. Oh, say, I have that magnet. You might throw a link up to your first post of these, for the confused first-timers!

    • It’s there, but I stuck another on just for you!


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